Incoming Doozy

I started writing a post tonight and it felt like every sentence I wrote brought up another memory or bullshit situation.

Long story short and spoiler alert: my future was stolen from me and some crucial development seriously delayed because of my mother’s fear of me becoming independent and whatever shame or pressure that would bring from the rest of the relatives I lived with growig up.

It wasn’t necessarily about me rising above anyone it’s that they wanted to keep me down with them.

Opportunities were taken and I was treated like an ignorant child way too long. I will try to not let scope creep take over the post and it end up being thousands of words but this is definitely not a quick and easy post but I do think it’s something that needs to be said if nothing else for my own mental health and sanity.

Maybe all of the past events have something to do with why I had to literally yell at my mother to get on the plane a couple days before my wedding and why it’s been over 3 1/2 years since she’s seen her only grandchild.

One disturbing thing that is becoming clearer to me as I work through and process things is I’m not sure how important I am or ever was to my mother or the rest of my extended family.

Actions speak louder and some of the stuff that happened was deafening.

Busy Q3

I’ve been kind of quiet on the old blogosphere lately because after two years of being cautious and doing everything we could to stay safe and healthy we had the opportunity to travel and we took those opportunities.

After over two years of being voluntarily homebound and avoiding people we felt confident enough to travel between vaccines and continuing to practice mitigation measures. So far this year we have been to New Orleans, Paris, New York, and Miami with another trip to New York planned before the end of the year. 

It feels weird to be traveling again and it also feels good. We missed adventures and fancy hotels and the Tiny Human hadn’t really been anywhere that she could remember except a local relatives house but that’s not really the same. 

The Tiny Human has already established herself as a fancy hotel and room service kind of girl and charms the staff everywhere we go. She is truly a force to be reckoned with. 

With the holidays coming there is sure to be a flood of feelings and memories - some good, some bad - that will need to be dealt with. 

Overall time and distance have helped with the healing and forgetting but there are still some that pop up that have to be dealt with every year. 

My main goal as a parent is to provide a childhood and homelife that will not require a therapist or blog of her own later in life. I can’t guarantee that but I can do my best to not be part of the reason. 

Next time, whenever that is, I plan on sharing why my obsession this holiday season is a vinyl copy of Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits Vol II. 

If you’ve read this blog before and suspect it has something to do with Auntagonist you’re correct! Please see someone at the Courtesy Desk to claim your prize. 

I am working on (or attempting to) a handful of other writing projects and will try to be more consistent with my posts and venting in the new year. 

Writing Calendar

I have a lot (probably too many) writing projects and stories in progress at the moment and I am working this week to get more organized and focused so I don’t go long stretches between posting here or on my Substack (https://acmesyndicate.substack.com/) which at the moment only has a couple stories posted. 

There are still many more stories to tell, both personal and fiction. 

Some are warm and fuzzy.

Some are cold and prickly.

Some are dark and disturbing. 

Some are just plain fucked up. 

It should be good times. 

Boring Update

I realize it’s been almost two months since I’ve shared anything here and I’m sure it’s been lonely without my tales of childhood traumas. For those I have left unentertained, I apologize. With both of us working full time and wrangling a constantly growing Tiny Human free time to write or read or shower is at a premium and I don’t always have the energy or mental capacity to put fingers to keys and make the magic happen. 

I do have a couple of pieces in the hopper that should be interesting and hope to have those done and posted in the next couple weeks. 

Will it be everyone’s favorite thing? Probably not. 

Will it be scandalous? Also no. 

There will be more weird stories from my childhood coming soon enough.