Spare the Rod

When I was growing up, Sundays were for two things: 

1. Church

2. The after church spanking. 

For the life of me I still cannot figure out what in the actual fuck I ever did at church that would have necessitated a spanking. I can still remember the ritual. We’d get home from church, I’d go up yo my room yo change out of my church clothes, and then I would hear it. My mother taking the first step up the stairs. 

Even 40 years later even thinking about it and every tiny bit  comes back in vivid detail. I have no idea what her thinking was. If there was some reason she thought validated it or if she just thought it was part of raising a child. 

Either way it was a pretty fucked up way to celebrate the lord’s day. 

We stopped going to church regularly when I was about seven and with that the weekly Sunday spankings stopped. That’s not to say everything was now perfect and normal. Normalcy was never achieved and to be honest, I don’t know that “normal” was even a concept that was understood. My family was very insular because there was always something to hide. Mental illness, weird relatives, and who knows what else. For a seven year old I picked up on a lot of what was going on in the house but I know there was a lot that either went over my head or I totally missed. 

There are times I am truly surprised I did not end up completely messed up. I know I’m not perfect but I’m not terrible. At least I don’t think I am.

Now that I am the parent of my own Tiny Human this is one of those things from my childhood that I look back at in horror and know that there is absolutely no way I would spank for any reason. 

For those of the “I was spanked and I turned out fine” crowd, great. Good for you. I’m glad you handled it in your own way. 

Childhood should never be a thing that has to be survived or endured until you’re old enough to get out and take care of yourself. No, it should be a time of feeling love and safety and security that you will be protected from harm not subjected to it. 

Some stories take much longer to tell but for this one I didn’t want to belabor it or go into irrelevant and unnecessary details just the big picture. The way I’m writing fiction projects some of this will probably make it into a novel or short story at some point. For now, that’s all I got.